All Things Girly

I like browsing for pictures on the web. I found a pretty picture of 3 pink bright roses in glaring white background on gettyimages.com. The photo made me think of all girly things - dollhouses, cotton candy, ruffles, and debuts. I tried to do a painting of it. I couldn't get the exact bright pink color. I ended up with this. I hope its not too bad.

Life is sweet..

^-^

ZzZzZzZzZ.....

Two slices of 18-inch pizza, a can of Coke, 8 shots of vodka, a few glasses of orange juice, and a bag of peanuts. Under the stars, by the roadside, with friends from work, still in uniforms, in the wee hours of the morning. An impromptu night-out filled with giddy laughter, drinks, joy-rides, and carefree chatter. The perfect high-calorie stress buster after a (not so) busy afternoon shift at the hospital. ^-^ Something tells me I'm going to have a good night's sleep..

Lost Dreams

I had a strange dream a few nights ago. I keep forgetting to write about it. I was at home, here in our house in CDO. I was looking for something, and then suddenly, I couldn't find my way out. It's like our house sprouted 10 more rooms - bedrooms, family rooms, living rooms, even a lobby - all with connecting doors. It was like a maze. They were all familiar to the "me" in my dream, but I've never seen those rooms before. The lobby I saw in my dream was like that of a hotel. There were lots of people. I bumped into my favorite Aunt, and I asked her how to get out. She directed me to an auditorium (wtf?! an auditorium in my house?!), similar to the one at my university. I walked down the aisle at the far left, and entered door #8, like she told me to. Then I found myself backstage. I bumped into Patricia, a college classmate. We chatted for a while. And then the dream shifted, and I was at the back of a blue van. All the other performers in the auditorium were with me. I looked down at my feet and I was barefoot. It was raining outside, but I got off the van because I recognized the place we were passing by, and it was my neighborhood. I stood at the sidewalk, under the rain, waiting for a cab. I stood there for about 15 minutes, all the while feeling very self-conscious about my being barefoot, at the same time thinking of going to see my boyfriend. After what felt like forever (to the "me" in the dream of course), I was finally able to hail a taxi, get on, and then .. I woke up.

Strange. And the funny thing is, it wasn't the first time I dreamt of those rooms - or getting lost, for that matter.

Change

Moving back to CDO was by far, the biggest, most life-changing decision I've ever made. I've lived in Manila my entire life. Though I come to CDO for the summer and Christmas holidays, it's still a far cry from actually living here. People always ask me why I came to work here in the first place, when I've lived there all my life. And when they do, I never know how to answer. Work, family, etc, etc... It's a jumble of reasons, one after the other. Even I don't understand. I've never really gotten over the fact that I'm already living here. One thing's for sure, though. I came here because I had to. I just had to.

Rewind to 15 years ago (God, am I old!), I remember crying my heart out every single time the holidays were over. I hated Manila. I wanted to stay in CDO with my cousins and my favorite Aunt. Those were the days. Back then, my world was that of any typical 7 year old. I wanted to play. The only problem was, my favorite playmates were miles away. Today, however, everything's different. I cry because I want to go back. I want to go back to the independent, parent-free, and exciting life I had - to my amazing friends, my crazy cousins/housemates, my perfectly imperfect bedroom, my incredible boyfriend (or ex or whatever), my favorite mall, and to fast-paced Manila itself. Don't get me wrong, it's not so bad here in CDO. There are plenty of perks. It's just different.

Then again, change is good. It means growth. It means moving forward. That life I had, now that I think about it, it was simply college life. Change, it's just not easy though.

Tink!

Tinkerbell is my favorite Disney character. A couple of weeks ago, my mom bought me a really pretty Tink figurine from Trinoma. She looked so happy and adorable, I just had to draw her. I used color pencils for this one. ^-^

Watercolor experiments..

This one looks a helluva lot better here than the real thing, sad to say..

This is actually model/actress Devon Aoki. I came across a Loreal ad in a magazine which featured her. (minus the umbrella - I added that) ;)

3 little birds sat on my window..

And they told me I don't need to worry..
Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet.
Little girls double dutch on the concrete..

Only my birds aren't sitting on a windowsill. They're perched on electrical wiring.

Corrine Bailey Rae's Put Your Records On is one of my favorite songs. It's so light and cheerful. It inspired me to paint this. It's a pretty scene I see outside my window all the time, despite the electrical wiring bit ;). It took me no less than 4 tries to get this piece of painting right. It's not a masterpiece but it'll do. ;)

060109

I just hung up with my musician-artist of a boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/best friend/phone pal; and this phone session gave me a few things to ponder on. I'm a frustrated artist. My biggest dilemma is that my interest exceeds my talent. And it takes ever so long for me to bring out what I have in mind. I so envy those people who can write, paint, create, or whatever it is they do, as naturally as breathing. He gave my life a quick assessment and diagnosed me with a much too careful life. The cure? Be real.

Being real. Honesty. Letting loose. Letting go. Throwing all cares into the wind, and letting the heart and soul shine through.

Freedom.

How beautiful that must feel. How does one do it, though? How does one live such a life?