Thursday, April 7, 2011


Sometimes, I just feel like banging my head against the wall. How do they do it?! The artists I see in blogs, and televisions? Where do they get all the creative energy, the inspiration, the ideas, the active imagination? Day after day, time after time, I see beautiful creations, breath-taking pictures, and enticing works of art that just make my mouth water. How I long to create something as beautiful, something as inspiring. I'm a tortured soul. Really. The problem is my interest exceeds talent and my desire exceeds my creative capacity. I so envy the artists who are able to live life with such passion and love for their work. I try. I do, maybe not enough at times, but I do. And yet -- nothing. I was never fully satisfies with the artworks I created. I always feel like something is missing. I feel like I need to break free from some wall or some barrier that could possibly be holding me back from a pool of creative and inspirational power. I want to feel that aha! moment - that moment where everything comes together, when everything is suddenly crystal clear, as it is written in big bold letters in front of your face saying, THIS IS WHAT YOUR GOOD AT, THIS IS THE STYLE FOR YOU, THIS IS WHAT YOU MUST DO. How do they do it? How is it so natural to them? This is the greatest mystery of my life.